so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
