Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
