Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
