I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
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