id be glad to
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
