"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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