I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
