We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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