were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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