Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize