don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
