yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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