Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
