Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
