Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
