You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
