Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
