do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize