I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
