I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
