I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
