then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You pole danced in your parka.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
