I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
