Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
