Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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