how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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