you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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