can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize