Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
