Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
