i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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