grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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