Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
