I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
They took my balls.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
