yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
