But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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