Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
