does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
