I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
