True but thats because hes a fetus.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
