I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
