No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
