Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Randomize
