Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
