i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize