I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
