Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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