just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
