Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
