May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
