I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize