i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
