Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
