After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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