I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i out mim tonsoeep
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
