we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
