But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
