Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
