I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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