I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
