Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
