i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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